I’ve been working through the process of living with the legacy of trauma. The overwhelming, unbearable, and unbelievable thoughts and feelings. For a long time, I tried to push them away so they wouldn’t hurt me. And it worked for a good long while. Then one day, I found that pushing those feelings away was…
This is a really interesting article from Cory Doctorow, via Daniel Miessler‘s Unsupervised Learning mailing list. It talks about how unmonetizable content is kryptonite to established social-media-type platforms, and how he tries to “woo the muse of the odd.” I don’t have a lot more to add except that I think I’m trying to cultivate…
There is a saying that people come into our lives for “a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” I think I just discovered that someone who I thought was a “lifetime” friend was really more of a “season” friend. It’s possible that I’m wrong on this and it’s just a bump in the road. At…
My favorite quote from this video is: “By making trying to make them proud, I then end up making myself proud.” I like the thought of that virtuous cycle — building something to help others, which helps me, too. The video talks about how to get yourself unstuck when you’re in the “Short, Stall, or…
…and continues to save it. It was a place to put my grief when it wasn’t shared in my family of origin. In it, I could see a whole show about people who were living difficult lives, and I could see myself in their emotional lives. In many ways, my life was so much easier…
In the paper “Ironies of Automation” by Lisanne Bainbridge, she discusses how automation can make operators’ jobs harder rather than easier. This is particularly interesting in light of Large Language Models seemingly taking over lots of things that we used to rely on humans to do. https://web.archive.org/web/20200717054958if_/https://www.ise.ncsu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Bainbridge_1983_Automatica.pdf
Recently I’ve been contemplating how to best say goodbye to my father. I’ve had a difficult time for the last 10-15 years with what to do for myself relative to our relationship. He is still alive but I have no contact with him due to his crimes and his behavior. For many of these years,…
I was just reading this article: https://open.substack.com/pub/verahartmdphd/p/the-anatomy-of-doubt-when-betrayal And I got stopped at the sentence, “Yes, that was abuse.” It stopped me in my tracks. I have known this in my body for a long time, but to acknowledge it in written words is something else entirely. Acknowledging it takes away so much of the hidden…
One of the coolest things about many electronic components is that they are reversible. For example, if you send electric power to a motor it will spin. If you instead turn the spindle, it will create electricity. The same concept is true for LEDs. If you send power through them, they light up. If you…
I was never officially the ‘identified patient’ in my family of origin, but it’s interesting to read about this experience because it matches my sense of being the emotionally sensitive one. The one who can’t ignore the dysfunction. The one who can’t function in the dysfunctional family system, but can function well when I’m outside…